23rd April 2014

Post with 82 notes

NOT COINCIDENTALLY, I STOPPED THINKING OF MYSELF AS “CLEVER” AROUND THE SAME TIME I STOPPED VALUING CLEVERNESS

IT USED TO MATTER, BUT THEN SUDDENLY IT DIDN’T

A DEEP CONVICTION I MUST HAVE BEEN CARRYING A LONG TIME FINALLY BORE OUT INTO THE LIGHT: THAT NO ONE WAS TRULY AND ACTUALLY CLEVER ON EARTH, THAT REAL CLEVERNESS REQUIRED A KIND OF PERCEPTUAL FREEDOM WE’D NEVER REACH, TRAPPED AS WE ARE IN BODIES WITH ONLY FIVE, MODERATELY ACUTE SENSES AND LIMITED STORAGE CAPACITY

I REASSESSED OUR COLLECTIVE POTENTIAL AND ROUNDED US DOWN

PARTLY BECAUSE OF THIS AND PARTLY BECAUSE OF THE ESSENTIAL TEDIUM OF THE PRACTICE, I DISMISSED IT

CLEVERNESS IS A DISPLAY AND THUS NOT ONLY REQUIRES AN AUDIENCE BUT, WORSE, BECOMES THE KIND OF PERFORMANCE THAT IS EXPECTED

A PERSONALITY LIKE A JOB YOU’VE ACCIDENTALLY HIRED YOURSELF TO PERFORM

THE GOOD NEWS

THERE ARE PARTS OF YOURSELF THAT YOU AUTOMATICALLY THROW AWAY IN AN EMERGENCY

AND HALLELUJAH IT IS POSSIBLE TO LIVE IN THE FIRST PART OF THE 21ST CENTURY OF THIS EARTH AS IF YOU’RE PERPETUALLY IN AN EMERGENCY

BECAUSE YOU ARE


IT’S LIKE MAKING YOUR NEW HOME

IN THE MIDDLE OF A BUSY STREET


THE MAIN THING IS TO LIVE

AND KEEP MOVING


CARRY NOTHING UNNECESSARY

22nd April 2014

Photo reblogged from with 149 notes

arealliveghost:

I HAVE HUNDREDS OF SONS by theron jacobs, as dictated to me



LOL

arealliveghost:

I HAVE HUNDREDS OF SONS by theron jacobs, as dictated to me

LOL

18th April 2014

Photo with 19 notes

LOOKS ABOUT WORTH THE PRICE

LOOKS ABOUT WORTH THE PRICE

9th April 2014

Photo with 16 notes

4th April 2014

Post with 119 notes

I THINK IT’S IRRESPONSIBLE OF MODERN SCIENCE TO REFUSE TO REEVALUATE THEIR POSITION GIVEN NEW EVIDENCE

IT’S CLEAR THEY PREFER TO PERPETUATE LIES

EVOLUTION CLAIMS WE WERE ALL DESCENDED FROM A SINGLE COMMON ANCESTOR

A ONE CELLED THINGUM THAT BLOSSOMED INTO THE PANOPLY OF LIFE THAT IS EARTH’S PRESENT BIOSPHERE

WHICH IS CLEARLY RIDICULOUS

ALL LIFE ON EARTH IS DESCENDED FROM DIFFERENT HORSES AND EVERYONE WHO IS “FOR REAL” KNOWS IT

HORSES THAT MADE MISTAKES

LIKE FOR INSTANCE ONE GOT BURIED AND THEN WE HAD PLANTS (EARTH HORSES)

AND THEN IT HAD BABIES

A LOT OF BABIES

FISH ARE JUST DIFFERENT HORSES WHO FELL IN AND THEN GOT USED TO THE WATER

I MEAN COME ON

IT’S OBVIOUS

3rd April 2014

Post with 31 notes

IF YOU WANT FASHION TO ACTUALLY CHANGE, TO MOVE PAST THE CEASELESS REMIXING OF PREEXISTING IDEAS,

YOU MUST RADICALLY ALTER THE HUMAN BODY

I SUGGEST MORE BUTTS

3rd April 2014

Post with 33 notes

ONE POPULAR TYPE OF BABY IS “TINY”

SAMPLE DIALOGUE:

"HEY LOOK ITS A TINY BABY. I LOVE THE TINY BABY WITH MY HEART."

ANOTHER POPULAR KIND OF BABY, BUT RARER, IS TEENY TINY

THIS KIND OF BABY IS VERY SMALL

29th March 2014

Post with 22 notes

EVERYTIME YOU REFRESH A FEED ON THE INTERNET PICTURE IT AS A WAVE, GENTLY ROLLING YOU TOWARD THE DISTANT HORIZON

WHERE U DIE

YOU DIE THERE

29th March 2014

Post with 7 notes

WE NEED A WHOLE NEW INTERNET THIS ONES USED UP

THROW IT OUT

29th March 2014

Post with 71 notes

ITS LEGAL TO DESTROY ALL LIFE ON EARTH SO LONG AS YOU DO IT SLOW AND SOMEONE GETS PAID

NICE

23rd March 2014

Photo with 20 notes

HEY TUMBLR I BOUGHT A JACKET

THIS IS ME WEARING MY JACKET

IVE ALREADY TAKEN IT OFF (IRL, NOT IN THE PICTURE IN THE PICTURE IM WEARING IT) BUT LATER IM GOING TO PUT IT ON AGAIN

ITS NICE JACKET

I LIKE IT

HEY TUMBLR I BOUGHT A JACKET

THIS IS ME WEARING MY JACKET

IVE ALREADY TAKEN IT OFF (IRL, NOT IN THE PICTURE IN THE PICTURE IM WEARING IT) BUT LATER IM GOING TO PUT IT ON AGAIN

ITS NICE JACKET

I LIKE IT

21st March 2014

Post with 101 notes

(UNLESS YOU ENTER A BUILDING WHERE CAPES ARE ILLEGAL)

21st March 2014

Post with 434 notes

A CAPE IS JUST A BLANKET YOU NEVER HAVE TO LEAVE

21st March 2014

Post with 23 notes

ONE OF THE SECRETS OF BUG JAIL IS THE BUGS ACTUALLY LIKE IT THERE BUT PRETEND THEY DON’T

THEY’RE PARTYING IN THERE

LIKE SAY A BUG GETS ARRESTED? HE PRETENDS TO HATE IT A LOT UNTIL HE GETS TO JAIL AND THE COPS ARE GONE AND THEN HE HOOTS IT UP WITH ALL HIS FRIENDS

21st March 2014

Post with 27 notes

IM ALWAYS WORRYING ABOUT WHAT IF A POWERFUL BABY DEFEATS ME IN BATTLE EVEN THOUGH I DON’T EVEN FIGHT BABIES VERY OFTEN AT ALL

AND I ALWAYS WIN