MY SKIN IS SALT AND MY HANDS ARE DRY
COME LICK ME AND PISS ON MY LEGS
SPRITZ YR MISTY TEARS INTO MY BEARD
August 2011
22 posts
July 2011
39 posts
bransonbranson: bar tab →
bransonbransonbranson.tumblr.com
Thank you for drinking at Kliks. We understand that our bar name is a nonsense word, however, it is aesthetically appealing as well as short, and in this sense it is non-threatening. As a bar, we understand the concept of a brand.
Thank you for being one of four people that were in the bar…
I PRESUME ONE DAY I’LL BE ABDUCTED BY BUFF SNAKES IN A STOLEN VAN
THEYLL BRING ME TO SNAKEJAIL FOR MY CRIMES AND I WILL WEEP
I WILL MAKE VOWS AND ASSUME THE POSTURE OF THE PENITENT
I WILL SAY A THOUSAND SORRYS
BUT THESE WILL BE LIES
ID DO IT ALL AGAIN IN A SECOND AND THEY KNOW IT AND THATS WHY THEY DONT LET ME OUT AND I DIE IN SNAKEJAIL
SORRY MOM IM DEAD AND IN JAIL
SSSSSSNAKEJAIL
I MISPLACED THE CHARTER AND NOW I AM SHAVED AND BANISHED FROM MULLETLAND AND SAD AND ALSO THEY STOLE MY HANDS
WHAT ARE THEY DOING WITH MY HANDS
I ONCE BOUGHT A TIN TEAPOT AND THEN KILLED EVERYONE WHO WORKED IN THE THRIFTSTORE, THEN BURNED DOWN THE BUILDING THEN ATE A SANDWICH AND WHEN I WAS DONE EATING THE SANDWICH WHICH WAS GOOD IT HAD FLAVORS AND SALT I BURIED THE TEAPOT IN THE GROUND AT AN UNDISCLOSED LOCATION
THEN I SAT AROUND WORRYING FOR 10 YEARS THAT SOMEONE MIGHT DISCOVER IT SO I DUG IT UP AND COMMITTED A GENOCIDE
SO NOW IT’S JUST ME AND MY TEAPOT WHAT YOU THINK OF THAT
I BEEN ASLEEP FOR 1000 DAYS
I WOKE UP DEAD IN SPACE
IT SUCKED SO I WENT BACK TO SLEEP
»>IM A MISSILE OF THUMBS UP I LOVE YOU AIMED STRAIGHT FOR THE HEART HELLO
»THUMBS UP I LOVE YOU
>THUMBS UP I
“I WANT TO LICK YR PISSY”
FUCK NO WAIT UNSEND UNSEND!
PLAY MY GAME SECRET GIRAFFE: YOU ARE A GIRAFFE BUT CAN’T TELL ANYONE YOU ARE A GIRAFFE IT’S GREAT
IF SOMEONE ASKS “ARE YOU A GIRAFFE?!” AND YOU ARE A GIRAFFE, THEN YOU HAVE TO HUG THEM AND THEN YOU ARE FRIENDS
HELLO I HAVE CCOME TO YAHOO ANSWERS WITH A SATCHEL FULL OF QUERIES BUT FIRST LET ME INTRODUCE MYSELF I AM A VERY LITERAL PERSON WITH NO IMAGINATION OK
FIRST OFF, NIETZCHE.
WHAT’S THAT GUY ON ABOUT?
HOW CAN AN ABYSS LOOK INTO YOU IT HASN’T ANY EYES
I WILL AWARD BITCOINS TO BEST ANSWER AS APPLICABLE THANK YOU
(IS THERE SOMEWHERE I CAN HANG MY COAT IT IS HOT IN HERE)
IT IS OKAY TO SMILE AT THE CAMERA WHILE SWALLOWING AN ENTIRE HORSE
IT IS OKAY TO PLANT YOUR NEIGHBORS IN ORDER TO GROW MORE NEIGHBORS
IT IS OKAY TO TRAVEL IN TIME BUT NOT TO QUOTE BACK TO THE FUTURE WHILE DOING IT THAT IS ILLEGAL
BEASTS
BABY SNAKELORDS SING SOFT SONGS ABOUT SATAN TO THEMSELVES WHILE OTHERWISE OCCUPIED
I LIKE TO WATCH THEY LITTLE SMILES
SO CUTE
GET OUT OF YOUR OTHER PLACES AND INTO MY AMERICA
OR STAY WHERE YOU ARE MAYBE
IT IS JUST A BUNCH OF ENDLESS, ABANDONED HALLWAYS AND MYSTERY PITS
I’VE BEEN DRAWING FRIENDS ON THE WALL BUT THEY REFUSE TO TELL ME THE WAY OUT
LIVE YR LIFE IMPERVIOUS TO GRAVITY
I WANT TO SLEEP IN MUD
I WANT TO SLEEP IN YOUR HAIR
I WANT TO SLEEP IN THE BACKROOM OF A CANDY STORE
ID WAKE UP IN THE MORNING SOAKED IN FLAVORS
ID WAKE UP BREATHING WITH AN EAGER FACE
ID WAKE UP!
I HAVE SWALLOWED A HUNDRED ALICE IN WONDERLANDS AND NOW MY HANDS ARE RESTLESS
IT’S A LONG JOURNEY FROM INSIDE MYSELF
IF YOU CALL ME ON THE TELEPHONE I THINK “WHY ARE THEY CALLING ME ON THE TELEPHONE?”
AND THEN I SIGH AND BECAUSE I LOVE YOU TRAVEL THE THOUSAND MILES AND PRESS ACCEPT
SMELL THIS DEER
(IS IT DEAD OR JUST PRETENDING?)
TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES AND SING A SONG TO THEM
OCCASIONALLY I SAY THE WORD “PONYCORN” OVER AND OVER IN AN ANNOYING VOICE AND KINDA PRANCE ABOUT
IT’S CHARMING OR IT’S PROBABLY CHARMING
IT’S OKAY TO SWALLOW YOUR NEIGHBOUR OR STEAL THEIR LEATHER WHIPS
IT’S OKAY TO RECLAIM PUBLIC PROPERTY FOR COMMUNAL SLIP AND SLIDE GATHERINGS
IT’S OKAY TO PRETEND YOU HAVE A TAIL OR TO ACTUALLY HAVE A TAIL
