July 2012
36 posts
I LIKE DINOSAURS SOMETIMES I WONDER WHAT THEY SMELLED LIKE COULDA BEEN ANYTHING
WHAT IF THEY SMELLED LIKE FRUITS
BIG, ANGRY FRUITS WITH DUMB LIMBS AND A DOOMED FUTURE
ANOTHER THING I LIKE ABOUT DINOSAURS IS THEY BECAME BIRDS WHICH WAS A COOL MOVE
IT’S FUN TO THINK ABOUT THE FAR OFF FUTURE AND IMAGINE HUMANS AS TOTALLY TRANSFORMED
PERSONALLY I HOPE MANTISES TAKE OVER THE PLANET AND...
PUT YR LIPS ON MY LIPS AND THEN WIGGLE
THAT’S KISSING
HEARD OF ITT????
GFYMB: 2018 →
jjffjj:
A friend—no, not a friend. Someone I knew once confessed to me that he had someone murdered. Hired a guy. He was serious. He told me if I ever needed to have someone killed, he could arrange it.
He was still angry about what the dead man had done to him. Well, it was not what the dead man did to…
INTO THE HOLE
She grabs my hand and we go down. Down into the hole. I do not want to go into the hole but there isn’t any choice about it, and she seems in a hurry anyway. In general I prefer to avoid going into holes. It’s not a strict policy, it is simply my preference. If you were to show me, casually, a handsome hole and offer me the opportunity to go into it, I would say “no,...
I WISH YOU WOULD LEARN YOU ARE ALIVE
WE ALL KNOW HOW WE GOT HERE: THE BRASH, NOISY CONCERT OF HUMAN NATURE
THE CONGRESS OF OUR MANY, HUNGRY FLAWS HOLDING HANDS
PUSHING US TO THE EDGE OF THE CLIFF
MAKING US DANCE
A REASONABLE, SOBER PERSPECTIVE IS THAT WE ARE LIKELY INSUFFICIENT TO RESIST OURSELVES
THAT WE OUGHT TO ACKNOWLEDGE THIS AND GIVE UP; WE OUGHT TO JUMP
ACCEPT OUR FATE, EMBRACE IT, MAYBE KISS ON THE WAY DOWN
...
hi: when people say “my dog thinks he’s human”... →
arealliveghost:
when people say “my dog thinks he’s human” they usually mean “my dog is compassionate. my dog knows when I’m sad.”
I had a dog that was hit by a car and came back with a broken leg. the vet put it in a cast and to reduce mobility we had to keep him in a small kennel most of the time.
he smashed…
HELLO I AM THE KING OF BEANS
IM THE KING OF LOTS OF STUFF BUT ESPECIALLY BEANS
ONCE I WAS STUNG BY A HORNET AND I FAINTED
AND THEN I WAS REVIVED BY A STEAMING BOWL OF BEAN SOUP
A BEAN BISQUE
AND SO NOW I CARRY A FANNYPACK FULL OF BISQUE AROUND THE KINGDOM ATTEMPTING TO GET SUBJECTS TO TASTE MY BEANS
NO ONE WANTS TO BUT I AM THE KING
I SAY “TASTE MY BEANS” AND THEY...
ARRESTED FOR PRETENDING TO BE A SCARY SNAKE IN A DEPARTMENT STORE
BUT NOW IM JUST A SCARY SNAKE IN JAIL YOU CAN’T STOP ME
IM PUNCHING A HOLE INTO THE EARTH TO LET OUT ALL ITS FILLINGS
IM EXUDING NEW GRAVITIES AND IT’S MESSING EVERYTHING UP AND WE’RE ALL SPILLING INTO SPACE NOW
“WHOOPS” I SAY
AND THEN WE’RE ALL SHRUGGING OUR SHOULDERS IN SPACE
IM PLANTING POISON IN THE SUN IM DONE WITH THIS SYSTEM
RIP TPHD DEAD FROM KISSING THINGS IN SPACE WHERE THERE IS NO OXYGEN
IDIOT
A PHYSICAL BODY IS A FORM OF TYRANNY
TYRANNIZE ME BABY
BULLY ME WITH YR LIPS
OPRESS ME WITH YR LIMBS
THROW YR STRENGTH AGAINST ME
I DONT WANT TO WORK I JUST WANT TO DRINK AND HUG
IM GOING TO THROW MYSELF OFF A CLIFF AND INTO A RAVINE FULL OF SOFT CANDIES
THOUSANDS OF ONLOOKERS WILL SLOWLY BEGIN CLAPPING THEN KISSING THEN JUMPING TOO
JUMP OFF A CLIFF WITH ME FLING YRSELF INTO THE CANDY ABYSS~
I CAN HEAR THE WATER, RUSHING IN THE NIGHT LIKE AN ARGUMENT AGAINST STILLNESS, LIKE A PROMISE
LIKE A PARADE OF EXCITED, ANGRY THROATS AND WE ARE RUSHING TOO
ACTUALLY, EVERYTHING IS RUSHING IN THE NIGHT
(BUT WE ARE HOLDING HANDS)
NEW END OF THE WORLD PERFORMANCE ANXIETY CURE:
RELAX
GIVE IN
MAYBE START DANCING ALONG A BIT~
“As a child, he very early displayed symptoms of his gigantism, reaching a height...”
– André The Giant - Wikipedia
In summary: Andre the Giant was too big to fit on a bus, so Samuel Beckett drove him to school.
(via bestrooftalkever)
this is insane. (via yeahiwasintheshit)
whoa (via rare-basement)
WOW
WHAT IF A BIG FROWNY WORM JUST FOLLOWED YOU AROUND FROWNING AT EVERYTHING YOU DID
I MEAN LIKE 8 FOOT WOULD YOU CRY? YOU’D CRY HUH
I’D CRY
MY FIRST MEMORY WAS CRAB APPLE, GREEN GRASS, STUNG BY A BEE! MY FIRST WORD WAS “COOKIE.” MY FIRST LOVE WAS COLOR AND MY SECOND, BLANKETS
FIRST THING I REMEMBER LOSING WAS THE FLUORESCENT RED “REFLEX HAMMER” FROM THE FISCHER PRICE MEDICAL KIT—KEPT LOOKING FOR IT FOR YEARS AFTERWARD
THE FIRST THING THE WORLD ASKED ME TO APOLOGIZE FOR WAS LOOKING LIKE A GIRL. BUT...
1 tag
cooldate:
@leyawn’s “Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Beach Dad,” presented at Cool Date, July 10 at Cake Shop
video by Vince Eckert
I FUCKING LOVE LEYAWN HAHAHAHA #COOLDATE
ALL HAMARTIAS PERSIST AND WORK THEIR DARK PURPOSE BY FEEDING FROM THE SAME ROOT
WHICH IS SIMPLY THAT WE KNOW OUR FAULTS BUT EXCUSE OURSELVES FROM CORRECTING THEM
BECAUSE WE ARE DRAWN TO THE HIGH DRAMA OF TRAGEDY
BECAUSE WE SAY: IM THIS WAY AND NO OTHER
AND THEN WE THROW OURSELVES OFF THE “INEVITABLE” CLIFF OF FATE WHILE WEEPING TEARS ONTO OUR NOBLE CHEEKS
BUT OF COURSE IT...
OVERNIGHT HE GREW TO TWICE HIS NORMAL SIZE AND THEN NO ONE LOVED HIM ANY MORE
SO HE LEFT AND FOUND THE ROAD
IT OPENED ALL ITS ARMS AND EMBRACED HIM
AS IF IT HAD MISSED HIM
HE GREW HIS HAIR
HE WHISTLED
HE LISTENED
HE LISTENED AND, EVENTUALLY, BEGAN TO SING BACK WITH A SECRET MUSIC IN HIS STRIDE
HE TRIED TO NAME WITH HIS STEP THE NAMELESS JOY SPREADING ITSELF INSIDE HIM
BUT IT...
hi: collection of missed connections →
arealliveghost:
m4w: you are one person out of 7 billion and so am I
m4w: I died before time travel was commonplace and you were born after it became passé
m4w: you are one person out of 2.1 billion and so am I
m4w: our memory chips got switched at the hospital and I can’t stop thinking about your childhood…
And in that moment I came rushing back to myself. I’d been hollowed out, displaced, but now I felt like a person again, full and returned to within my own borders.
I did a little snake-grin in the dark.
I stretched my limbs in many directions and did some wiggling. I am alive and I like to be alive!
The bush of ghosts is an infinite night and I howled into it. I’ll tear the...
SHE CAME. SHE CAME AND WENT TO SLEEP
IT DIDN’T MATTER WHERE
SHE CAME IN A MOMENT AND CRAWLED INTO THE SHADOWS, BEHIND THINGS. RIGHT INTO THE INVISIBLE HEART OF THE CITY
SHE CAME AND WORMED
SHE SUNK HER FINGERS INTO THE GROUND AND THEN HER HEAD AND ALL THE REST
IN THE NIGHT AIR, GUITARS SHIVERED
IN THE NIGHT, THE MOON
SHE NEEDED SLEEP AND SHE DUG AND WENT TO SLEEP
AND IN HER...
YOU RESIGN YOURSELF TO YOUR DREAMS, GROW COMFORTABLE INSIDE THEM
YOU UNFURL YOURSELF AND CLAIM THE DREAMSPACE AS YOUR OWN
A SMALL SHADOW OF AWKWARDNESS COMES TO HAUNT YOUR TRANSACTIONS IN THE WAKING WORLD
THE LAST TIME I WAS FULLY HYDRATED, I WAS TOO YOUNG TO EVEN GROW A BEARD
WHICH ISN’T TO SAY THAT MY BEARD IS STEALING ALL MY WATER BUT IT IS MAYBE STEALING ALL MY WATER
IT IS A VERY HEAVY BEARD
I’VE HAD TO ADD SEVERAL POUNDS OF MUSCLE TO MY NECK TO MAINTAIN BALANCE
ALSO, WHEN I CRY IT COMES OUT OF MY BEARD
IT IS LIKE SOMEONE MOURNFULLY TWISTING A WATERLOGGED RAG AND IT IS...
