June 2012
38 posts
A thing people say commonly to me: “You’re weird” or “you’re really weird” or “I like the way your brain works” or “your brain is interesting,” all of which do not as accusations/assessments displease, but they do not particularly please me either.
They make me feel lonely. Or rather they remind me that I’m alone.
They remind...
ACCIDENTALLY UPSET A JAR LABELLED “THE STUFF OF LIFE” AND NOW THE FLOOR IS WRITHING AND MAKING ANGRY COMPLAINTS :(
I OFTEN WISH I WAS INANIMATE
NOT BECAUSE I AM MORBID OR UNHAPPY ABOUT BEING ALIVE BUT BECAUSE I GREATLY ENJOY SILENCE
BEING ALIVE IS NOISY THE THROBBING CACOPHONY OF BLOOD AND ALL THAT
THERE’S WIND AND ALL SORTS OF THINGS
SAW A COVEN OF WITCHES INSIDE A BURLINGTON COAT FACTORY AFTER HOURS; ONE HAD A BEARD, THEY ALL LOOKED BORED
THIS IS ACTUALLY A TRUE STORY I THINK THEY MIGHT HAVE BEEN EMPLOYEES
IM ALSO VERY PLEASED TO PRESENT THIS, FROM PEDRO FINS: http://pedrofins.net/snippet/yelled-at-a-worm-but-it-didnt-care
YELLED AT A WORM BUT IT DIDN’T CARE
GAVE A WORM A PRESENT BUT IT STILL DIDN’T CARE
DANG IT WORMS I WANT TO EXPRESS MY EMOTIONS TO YOU
IM STRAPPING ON MY PLATEMAIL, *HUUUGE* CHORE BTW, WHEN AN ARROW COMES THUDDING INTO MY FACE KILLING ME INSTANTLY AND THE WORM GIGGLES
RUDE WORM, FOLKS
VERY RUDE WORM
LOTTA RUDENESS IN SUCH A SMALL THING
TEENSY LITTLE CYLINDER CHOCK FULL OF...
MAN ON THE TROLLEY WITH SLEEP DEPRIVED SNAKE EYES, THE DEAD GAZE OF PREDATORS, SOFTENED SOMEWHAT BY LONG LASHES AND SLEEK CHEEKBONES SWEEPING DOWN INTO AN ARTICULATE JAW WHICH GOATED OUT, AT THE END, WITH A SHOCK OF GINGER BEARD
A GENUINE DIRTLORD DEVIL IN A WELLWORN TEE
HIS MOUTH NEVER MOVED
(OTHER THINGS SEEN IN DOWNTOWN SD: LOVEABLE IDIOTS OPENLY SMOKING A TINY ROACH OF DIRT WEED ON THE...
FOOD I’VE PROBABLY EATEN THE MOST IN MY LIFE: BUGS
FOOD I’VE ENJOYED THE MOST: BUGS
FRIENDS: BUGS
MY CLOTHES ARE MANUFACTURED BY: BUGS
(DON’T TELL ANYONE BUT IM HIDING IN THIS TURTLE SHELL FOR THE NEXT HOUR)
(IT’S COOL IN HERE LOTS OF BUBBLE GUMS FOR SOME REASON)
(DO TURTLES CHEW GUM?)
I GUESS THE WORST THING ABOUT TODAY WAS WHEN THE AWARDS I GOT FOR BEING HANDSOME WERE SOMEHOW DISLODGED FROM THEIR CAREFULLY ARRANGED GALLERY AND SENT TUMBLING IN GRACEFUL, GLEAMING ARCS OUT OF MY 12FTH STORY BEDROOM WINDOW ONLY TO CRASHLAND INTO DOZENS OF MY FAVORITE DOLPHINS IN THE POOL DOWN BELOW
ALSO I HAD SURGERY AND IM DYING
ALSO I HAD TO PEE FOR A LONG TIME BUT DIDN’T PEE AND I...
I HOPE MURDER DEMONS NEVER COME FOR ME I LIKE TO BE ALIVE
HEATHER IS WATCHING: Cool Date: A Night of Twitter... →
heatheriswatching:
New York! I’m excited to announce the launch of Cool Date: A Night of Twitter Poetry, July 10, 9 p.m. at Cake Shop. The lineup will include… @aRealLiveGhost
@gregerskine
@leh0n
@PIZZASHAMAN
@dry_hugs
@important_celeb
+ a short piece by @TPHD It’ll be a fun…
Reality can be understood as an infinite congress of improbabilities; parades of them, intersecting at all angles; improbabilities shaking hands quickly and then moving on to their new improbable partners and eagerly shaking hands again.
How do you do? Pleased to meet you. I’m unlikely and yet I happened too.
It’s indicative of the vastnesses we need to speak of when discussing...
MORPHOLOGY: THE MECHANISM OF GRASP →
creturfetur:
arsanatomica:
While looking at the little screech owl, I took a series of photographs and made this gif to illustrate the of the automatic grasping action of the talons.
The structure of bird feet is set up so that the foot automatically grasps when the ankle joint is bent.
This automatic…
This is a really cool resource!
I ONCE HAD A DREAM FEATURING A TEA CUP KAFKA ONLY A FOOT AND A HALF TALL HE CAME SCAMPERING INTO THE PANTRY WHILE I WAS FETCHING TEA AND BEGAN TO BEG FOR BISCUITS
SO I GRABBED THE BISCUITS AND THIS SMALL DOUR THING AND PUT ON THE WATER
I SAT DOWN AND PULLED HIM INTO MY LAP AND PET HIM
FIRST HE ATE HIS BISCUITS AND THEN WE SAT IN SILENCE FOR AWHILE
AND THEN I HAD A CUP OF TEA
LATER I PUT...
I WENT IN FOR SURGERY AND THE DOCTORS SAID HELL YEAH WE’LL CUT YOU AND THEN BEGAN TO CUT ME BUT WERE DISMAYED UPON THE FIRST INCISION BECAUSE BUGS CAME OUT
BUGS CAME OUT AND DIDN’T STOP COMING OUT
THAT’S WIERD SAID THE DOCTORS
(THEY SAID IT TOGETHER THEY WORKED AS A TEAM)
EVENTUALLY JUST THE SAC OF MY SKIN REMAINED SO THEY STUFFED ME FULL OF SCRUBS AND COTTON BALLS AND...
HALF DEAD ON THE BUS
AND ALL THE OTHERS ARE HALF DEAD TOO
WE’RE ALL HALF DEAD ON THE BUS AND WOULD PREFER
TO BE ASLEEP BUT WE CANNOT BE ASLEEP WE ARE BUSY BEING BUSSED
TO A NEW DAY
EXCEPT FOR THAT ONE GUY WHO SEEMS HAPPY TO BE AWAKE
WHO WONT STOP TALKING
WHO IS EXCESSIVELY CHEERFUL
WE HATE HIM
WE IMAGINE BURYING HIM IN THE DIRT
