TPHD

10th April 2013

Post with 47 notes

I WISH I WAS 14 AGAIN ALSO 13 ALSO 12 I WISH I WAS ALL THE AGES I’VE EVER BEEN AT ONCE I WANT TO FILL UP WHOLE ROOMS WITH MYSELF AT VARIOUS STAGES OF MY PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT AND THERE ARE EVEN SO MANY OF US THAT WE ARE SPILLING OUT OF THE DOORS WE ARE MINGLING IN THE STREET JUST LIKE GETTING INTO EACHOTHER I WANT TO ORGANIZE A REUNION OF MYSELVES AND KEEP ORGANIZING IT FOR THE NEXT SEVERAL DECADES IT’S REALLY GREAT TO GET US ALL TOGETHER AND JUST, LIKE, CATCH UP

EVERY AGE HAS A SPECIAL GENIUS IT LEAVES BEHIND ALONG THE WAY

10th April 2013

Post with 17 notes

IT’S EASY TO BE A GENIUS IF YOU JUST TRAIN YOURSELF TO STOP SAYING OR THINKING STUPID THINGS THE NEXT STEP IS TO THINK REALLY SMART THINGS INSTEAD

ALSO MOST PEOPLE ARE STUPID SO TRY TO FORGET ANYTHING ANYONE’S EVER TOLD YOU

9th April 2013

Post with 16 notes

TAKE ALL MY BLOOD AWAY AND GIVE IT TO A DIFFERENT ONE THAN ME LIKE A THIRSTY HORSE OR A PLANT THAT YEARNS FOR BLOOD

DO YOU THINK ANY PLANT HAS EVER YEARNED FOR BLOOD

I JUST PICTURED A RACCOON WITH A IV IN HAS A RACCOON EVER GOT A BLOOD TRANSFUSION

A HOSPITAL RUN BY RACCOONS (IT’S A BUNCH OF MEDICINAL TRASH PILES THEY NEST YOU IN)

(LIKE HERBAL TRASH PILES)

(I WANT TO TOUCH A RACCOON)

2nd April 2013

Post with 21 notes

LOL MY “MEMOIRS”

I was born under unusual circumstances. My mother was a svelte, graceful but capricious witch and my father a disembodied warrior from the 12th century that seduced my mother one night during an autumn heat which had crashlanded in town a few days before and immediately began stirring up trouble. When I imagine them making love, I picture all the windows and doors of our stately (and capacious) 19th century farmhouse open. The sky overhead is full of clouds, but there’s an inviting, evening light at the horizon. I can feel the foliage breathing and gently preparing for the night. It’s like a semibreve rest—there’s a sense of settling and then this handsome gaseous specter comes blowing in through a window and finds my mother underdressed and agitated. Ready for action. I imagine it was electrical and sudden.

Nine months later I was birthed into a shoebox and licked clean by my loving, surrogate dog-mother just as the sun broke free of the corn fields to the east. I pushed myself out of the pile of my dog-brothers and sisters, brought my newborn grin into the morning light and felt for the first time the conviction that would stay with me for the rest of my life: I was going to bring this planet to its knees! And then onto its belly! And then teach it to wiggle! I was going to be the world’s first professional worm impressionist and there was very little that could stop me!

30th March 2013

Post with 30 notes

THE FEELING YOUR BLOOD IS RUNNING AWAY FROM YOU AND ALSO THAT THERE IS SOMETHING BREATHING INSIDE YOUR LIMBS

HOW MANY THINGS ARE WE CARRYING AROUND INSIDE US AND DO WE INCLUDE THE SNEAKING SUSPICION THAT GIVEN ENOUGH TIME AND THE RIGHT EQUIPMENT WE MIGHT PROVE THAT EVERYTHING IS A VESSEL

MAYBE THAT’S ALL IT IS THINGS CARRYING OTHER THINGS CARRYING OTHER THINGS BUT ON AN EXHAUSTIVE, INHUMAN SCALE

MAYBE THE UNIVERSE IS A NEST OF INTERCONNECTED VESSELS SPILLING THEMSELVES INTO ONE ANOTHER AND MAYBE IT IS SOMETHING ELSE

THAT’S THE PROBLEM WITH THE HUMAN MACHINERY OF THE MIND WE ARE WILLING TO PICK UP THE WHOLE WORLD AND FIND JUST THE RIGHT ANGLE TO JUSTIFY PLACING IT IN A SINGLE CLEARLY LABELLED BASKET

WE SUMMARIZE WITH A BLUNT BUNDLE OF PRESUMPTIONS AND THERE WILL BE NO SURVIVORS

THE NATURAL WORLD IS VIOLENT AND SO ARE WE WE WILL COLLAPSE THE WORLD OR BE COLLAPSED

WE’VE DISCOVERED NO OTHER WAYS DESPITE OUR LONG INQUIRY INTO THE WORLD

29th March 2013

Post with 60 notes

ONE MORNING YOU WAKE UP FROM TROUBLED DREAMS TO DISCOVER YOU’VE BEEN PREAPPROVED FOR A GREAT NUMBER OF THINGS YOU NEITHER NEED NOR WANT AND THAT THEY ARE MOVING DIRECTLY TOWARD YOU EVEN NOW AT A STEADY, INEXORABLE PACE, ONE MINUTE PER MINUTE

ONE MORNING YOU WAKE UP AND WALK TO 7-11 TO ACHIEVE A 16 OZ CUP OF COFFEE AND SUDDENLY REMEMBER YOU ARE A BEING MADE ENTIRELY OF POWERFUL LIGHTS ONLY YOU ARE COVERED IN SKIN AND HOW DID THAT HAPPEN

YOU TEAR OPEN THE PACKETS OF SPLENDA AND IMAGINE TEARING YOUR SKIN THE SAME WAY, AND POURING YOURSELF OUT OF YOURSELF

DON’T BE DULL, I’M NOT TALKING ABOUT SOULS

I’M TALKING ABOUT VERY POWERFUL LIGHTS CRASHING AROUND INSIDE YOUR SKINS, CAREENING IN A FAST-PACED GAMBIT TO FIND AN EXIT

I’M TALKING ABOUT THE WAY YOU PURPOSELY DRAW A TINY CIRCLE AND STAND WITHIN IT, TRYING TO IGNORE THE SPACE INSIDE YOURSELF YOU ARE WORRIED YOU CAN NEVER FILL

I’M TALKING ABOUT THE WAY YOU WATCH YOURSELF AS IF YOU ARE A STRANGER AND WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THAT BECOMES A HABIT YOU CANNOT BREAK