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THE LAST TIME I WAS FULLY HYDRATED, I WAS TOO YOUNG TO EVEN GROW A BEARD
WHICH ISN’T TO SAY THAT MY BEARD IS STEALING ALL MY WATER BUT IT IS MAYBE STEALING ALL MY WATER
IT IS A VERY HEAVY BEARD
I’VE HAD TO ADD SEVERAL POUNDS OF MUSCLE TO MY NECK TO MAINTAIN BALANCE
ALSO, WHEN I CRY IT COMES OUT OF MY BEARD
IT IS LIKE SOMEONE MOURNFULLY TWISTING A WATERLOGGED RAG AND IT IS EVEN SADDER THAN NORMAL TEARS
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I swear to God the moment I started reading this I thought of Sam.
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