29th October 2012

Question with 42 notes

Anonymous said: can you write something for someone who's thinking about committing suicide?

When I was 14, I wanted to die. From roughly 14-17 years old, I experienced a regular tide of suicidal thoughts.

It was profound and had a wide ranging effect on how I viewed myself and the world around me, severely limiting the ways in which I was capable of engaging with it.

And yet I no longer remember that time or really, honestly have any access to those feelings anymore.

You’d think it’d be easy to recall, but it isn’t.

I’m 34 now.

Twenty years ago I wanted to die, but now I no longer remember and substitute those years and feelings with a hazy black—a shorthand for the fog of anger and the deep, quicksand sadness which I know were present but which I have, through simply staying alive, distanced myself from irrevocably.

Stay alive.

Get help.

Talk to people especially about what you’re feeling.

This may sound stupid but if at all possible, start exercising.

One day you’ll have trouble remembering too.

Hope this helps, Anon

  1. ragelikeadog said: Seriously, Rainbow Satan, you are the wisest Satan.
  2. kawaiisoserious said: I second that exercising most thoroughly. Helped me so much.
  3. laineydiemond said: Love you.
  4. swamibooba said: You are awesome.
  5. tibets said: omg you’re 34!!!! you look so good for 34 like you look younger than me omg and this means there’s still hope for me to be a cool human by the time im 34 since im only 19 yay
  6. tphd posted this