Question with 42 notes
Anonymous said: can you write something for someone who's thinking about committing suicide?
When I was 14, I wanted to die. From roughly 14-17 years old, I experienced a regular tide of suicidal thoughts.
It was profound and had a wide ranging effect on how I viewed myself and the world around me, severely limiting the ways in which I was capable of engaging with it.
And yet I no longer remember that time or really, honestly have any access to those feelings anymore.
You’d think it’d be easy to recall, but it isn’t.
I’m 34 now.
Twenty years ago I wanted to die, but now I no longer remember and substitute those years and feelings with a hazy black—a shorthand for the fog of anger and the deep, quicksand sadness which I know were present but which I have, through simply staying alive, distanced myself from irrevocably.
Talk to people especially about what you’re feeling.
This may sound stupid but if at all possible, start exercising.
One day you’ll have trouble remembering too.
Hope this helps, Anon